Cold Hard Lemonade
by Animegx43
Summary: Lifty and Shifty become determined to rob Giggles and Petunia of their money. Will they succeed? Probably not. HTF oneshot.


Happy Tree Friends in: Hard Cold Lemonade.

Starring: Lifty and Shifty.

Featuring: Giggles, Petunia and Handy.

* * *

A hot day in Happy Tree town. It's never the kind of weather that klepto duo, Lifty and Shifty, have ever managed to handle. To try and keep cool,  
they've managed to find a very shady tree to sit under. But it does little good on this day.

"Oh...ah..." They both say in misery.

And when it seemed like they were doom to heat stroke, Shifty sees it! And he quickly nudges Lifty when he does. There it was! Giggles and  
Petunia's lemonade stand. And they clearly have plenty of the stuff.

"Tee, hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!" They say in union.

So the two, without question, come dashing to the lemonade hoping to get themselves a nice cold drink.

"No, no, no." Giggles says as she wags her finger left and right.

Petunia then points over to the line at the lemonade stand. And this line up is HUGE! There has to be at least 50 people lining up.

"AAGH!" They said together.

Without any choice, Lifty and Shifty are force to wait in line for their lemonade. When got at the end of the line, they passed the  
"2 hour" sign. Meaning that they're in for a long ass wait.

They wait...and wait...and wait...and wait. Until they reached...the "hour and 45 minutes" mark.

"AAAAAAGGHHHH!"

* * *

After what seemed like an eternity, it was almost time for Lifty and Shifty's to get what they came for. But when as they were waiting for  
their turn, Lifty saw something else interesting. Something MUCH better then lemonade.

MONEY!

On Giggle's and Petunia's stand is a large pile of money that they've been making selling the lemonade. Lifty has taken notice  
with the amazing profits. He gets an idea that he quickly shares with his brother, Shifty.

"I got an idea." "Lifty says as he takes out a a small wad of cash. "We buy their stand, scam them good, and get rich quick!"

The idea appealed very much to both of them, so they do their famous "Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee!"

So they go over to make the offer, but before they get to, Lumpy butts in front of them to talk to Giggles and Petunia as well.

"HEY! GET IN LINE!" Lifty and Shifty say together.

After walking up to the girls, Lumpy places a suitcase in front of them. Then he opens it, which quickly pleased Giggles and Petunia,  
as shown by the dollar symbols in their eyes.

"AAAWWW!" The racoons say.

* * *

One Week Later...

* * *

Thanks to Lumpy's investment, Giggles and Petunia have openned up their very own lemonade store. Since the grand openning, business  
have been nothing less then amazing. While most are overjoyed for them, Lifty and Shifty are nothing less then pissed.

"Ruggle, muggle...son of a...maggle..." Lifty mutters as he sits on the curb outside the store.

Then, much to his surprise, he see Shifty coming out of the store with a refillable cup of lemonade.

"SHIFTY!"

'What?"

Then Lifty had to remind his brother what the "what" was. And it was that Giggles and Petunia are the enemy, and that he just bought  
something straight from them.

"oh...right."

So now they're both sitting on the curb, angry from how they missed the score of a life time. Then after a few minutes of muttering,  
cursing, grotching, and thinking, it hits them like a sack of bricks.

"We rob them!" They both say simotaniously. "Tee hee hee hee hee hee hee."

* * *

So theydecided to rob them. After preparing, they see that with all of the people inside they could use as hostages, there would be  
no way they could possibly fail. They pulled out their pistols, put on black masks, and charged into the store.

"STICK UP!" Shifty yelled as they aimed their guns.

They soon realize that this was all a bad idea. Everyone inside reacted to this very quickly and fearlessly. First, Petunia pulls out a shotgun from under  
the counter, cocks it up with one hand, and aims it at the duo. Then Flippy pulls out an AK-47 from his coat and points it. Lumpy takes off both of his antlers, which  
are somehow a air of guns disguised as antlers. The Mole takes the tip off the end of his cane, reavealing a barrel, and aims it at the two. Mime blows up some  
balloons and ties them to make a balloon gun. Disco Bear pulls out a pair of pistols from his afro, then goes "Yeah, baby!" like Austin Powers. And finally, Sniffles presses a  
button on a little black box, which then transforms into a giant high-tech bazooka.

And every last weapon is pointed directly at Lifty and Shifty.

"Uh oh!" They both say, not expecting everyone to be packing.

Realizing the smartest thing to do, they place their pistols on the floor, and slowly leaves the lemonade store with their hands up.

* * *

They managed to leave the store alive and unharmed, but not without making any profits.

So they once again sit back on the curb, moping and thinking. After a few minutes of thinking, and idea hits Shifty. A great idea, too!  
He whispers it to his brother who takes an imidiate liking to it.

"Tee hee hee hee hee hee!"

* * *

After a long and busy day of serving drinks, Giggles and Petunia finally close up their shop for the night. They flip the open sign  
to closed, locked up the door, and shaked eachothers hands.

"See you tomorrow!"

"Bye!"

And they both walk home for a night's rest. But what they didn't know is that they're still getting customers tonight.

"Tee hee hee hee hee hee!"

From the dark alley next to the shop, Lifty and Shifty had been waiting for the two to lock up for the night. Now they can make their move.  
They go to the front door, but they should've expected it to be locked.

"Ugh..." Said Shifty. But when he couldn't open the door, he gave himself an idea. So he went to their van that's parked in the alley.

While Shifty was gone, Lifty looked on the ground and saw a rock. One that's strangely placed next to the door. He quickly realized that  
it was where the key was, being such an old trick. So he picks it up and grabs the Shifty came back and saw the key, he grew  
a little upset that he couldn't open the door with HIS key, which is really just an axe.

When finally inside, the first place they went to was the cash register, where they hope to find all of the loot.

"Hee hee hee hee!"

They pressed a button, the machine goes "Ka-ching", and...there's nothing in there.

"WHAT!"

Their precious cash register had no money inside. Not even a cent.

"Ugh!"

But when they thought they hit a wall, the two notices a door to the back of the restuarant. With nothing else to lose, they agreed  
to check it out. So they opened it, stepped into the other room, and checked out the room.

For the most part, the room was pretty empty. There was large metal door to the freezer a picture of some flowers at the end of the room,  
and as strange as it seems, Handy, sleeping on a chair with a a rifle in over his nubs for hands. But after a good look at Handy and the picture...

"You don't think...?" lifty asks.

Wanting to check out the picture, Lifty and Shifty slowly tip-toes over to the picture. Shifty stops near Handy to keep an eye on him while  
Lifty checks out the picture. When finally he gets to it, he takes the picture off the wall, thus revealing the wall safe.

"YES!" They both yelled. Nearly waking up Handy.

Luckily, Handy didn't wake up and stays asleep.

"Shush!" The racoons say to each other.

"Mmm...yummy..." Handy says as he dreams.

They once again narrowly avoided waking up Handy.

"Whew." Lifty says. Again, almost waking up Handy.

Not wanting to take anymore stupid risks, Lifty decides to just get to work and open the safe. Putting his ear on the safe and begins  
figuring out the combination.

While Lifty is openning the safe, curiosity got to the best of Shifty. He decides if there's anything worth stealing in the freezer. He opens it and steps  
right in. And right away, he finds hanging on the wall of the freezer a list of recipes Giggles and Petunia had been using.

"Hee hee hee hee!" Shifty said alone, who then being trying to pull the frozen recipe off the wall.

Back at the safe, Lifty has finally unlocked and open it. Inside was what he and his brother had came for. A very large pile of the green stuff.  
And it's all theirs.

"FINALLY!"

With that last yell, Handy the guard has finally woken up! And he's shocked to find what's happening.

"H-h-HEY!" Handy yells.

"Uh-oh."

Handy quickly grabs his rifle and tries to shoot. Lucky for Lifty, no hands made Handy miss, but Lifty knew that this was still bad. So he  
grabs a stack of money and makes a break for it. Handy begins chasing Lifty with his rifle, and as they run, they run pass the freezer door,  
closing it and locking Shifty inside.

"Wha?"

Shifty then tries to reopen the door, but he ends up breaking the handle from inside the freezer, trapping him for good.

"Uh-oh."

As for Lifty, he nearly reaches the front door with his money. But Handy had caught up.

BANG!

Handy fires and shoots Lifty in the foot.

"OW!" Lifty screams as he drops his money and grabs his left foot.

"Whoops." Handy says, since he wasn't actually aiming for Lifty's foot, but rather just his body itself.

BANG!

Handy fires again, but his nubby arms actually made him shoot Lifty's right ear. Due to his crappy aim, Handy gives out a frusterated look.

BANG! BANG! BANG!

"OW!

He shoots Lifty again in at his left shoulder, his tail, and his right cheeck. Angered and in pain, Lifty grabs the end of the rifle and aims it  
up to his forehand, giving Handy the shot he needs to end this once and for all.

BANG!

At long last, Handy had finally fired a shot that killed Lifty, splatter his brains out from the back of his head.

Back at the freezer, Shifty is still trying to open up the door and escape. But he's getting colder and losing strength.

"Someone will get me-HUH?" Shifty says as he realizes that he's not the only one in the freezer, as he found that Cro-Marot has also gotten locked inside.

* * *

The next day, after the ambulence picked up Lifty's dead body, Petunia walks over to the freezer to get some ice for a lemonade, she opens it and...

"Huh?" She says when she sees a completly from Shifty.

His eyes are still moving, but he doesn't seem to be able to move. Petunia goes to touch him, but when she does, his body begins to crack up,  
and before nyone knew what happened, his entire body shattered to pieces.

* * *

Moral: A penny saved is a penny earned.


End file.
